


Moments and Memories

by unvsval



Series: Gandrew Month [15]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, sweetboys - Fandom
Genre: "he" did, Andrew wrote a song, But I'm not sorry, Garretts's day in the life video, M/M, TW: Panic Attacks, TW: suicidal thoughts, Well - Freeform, and i'm almost sorry, and open ended, and some minor changes, but with a twist, confession of love, even though it doesn't really seem like it, it's cute, kinda sad, requited feelings, tw: self-harm, what Andrew does is a form of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27569065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unvsval/pseuds/unvsval
Summary: Andrew and Garrett spend time on the roofTRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of Self-harm, Suicidal Thoughts, and Panic Attacks
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts
Series: Gandrew Month [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992847
Kudos: 28





	Moments and Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Gandrew Month day 14  
> prompt: neglect  
> DISCLAIMER: This doesn't really follow the prompt, but this is what I wrote, so 🤷.  
> This story is based on Garrett's A Day In My Life video but I have changed some aspects to fit this narrative.  
> playlist:  
> affection - betweenfriends

“This is the surprise?” Andrew leaned his head on his palm as he watched Garrett flurry around the roof. He wasn’t all the way up there and his elbow rested on the roof while his feet were on the box they used as a ladder. 

“Well, it would be if you would stop peeking!” Garrett leveled him with a flat look as he laid out a blanket. The cloth waving in and out of in front of his face lost the look’s effect. Andrew huffed amused. 

“Yeah, that’s the problem here.” He rolled his eyes. 

Garrett pouted, “Aw, come on, Andrew!” 

Andrew heaved out a laugh as Garrett set the keyboard down on the edge of the blanket. Since he’d made his video about the making of his now I’m a Baby video, the taller man had been really trying to get better at singing (although he didn’t need it) and playing. He could plunk out a few notes-nothing compared to Andrew’s little melodies he sometimes played-and he was happy with his new hobby. 

“I’ve got another surprise!” Garrett said after he hung up the phone. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you gotta go get it though, it’s out front.” Garrett’s phone buzzed. “Oh, I got a Tinder notification.”

“Ugh,” Andrew grumbled to himself as he climbed down to get whatever had arrived. His spirits lifted a little when he realized that the other surprise was pizza. When he got back to the roof, Garrett was sitting in the little lawn chair with a big happy grin on his face. 

“I got us pizza!” He threw his hands up when Andrew shoved the pizza so it slid across the roof towards him. 

“I noticed,” Andrew grunted as he lifted himself onto the roof. Garrett definitely  _ did not _ let his eyes linger on the way that Andrew’s muscles looked under the edge of his sleeve. Andrew continued, “So, uh, this is. Uhm, this is great.” 

Garrett’s eyes narrowed at Andrew’s sarcastic tone, “Right?”

Andrew lost it, the sheet that the taller man had positioned over two chairs had already fallen off of one. The blanket they were using as a place to sit was already half thrown over the keyboard. And the  _ fucking  _ Bread magazine! Andrew sat down and held his ribs as he and Garrett fed off of each other’s laughter. 

The air was cool though and for once, Andrew was in pants instead of his regular athletic shorts and he’s sure that if he asked, Garrett would pack up and move them inside. When they finally caught their breath, there was a beat of silence before Garrett asked Andrew to film him doing something stupid. 

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, uhm,” Garrett looked down at his options. He decided on the little chair and the keyboard, “Just-just film me, I’ll just come up with something.” He laughed out as he sat in his chair and placed his keyboard on his legs. 

Andrew laughed the way he always does and hit the record button. He played along and added his own input and commentary for a short while and soon, they were both seated on the blanket and sharing one of the pizzas. 

“So, Mr. Siwicki, aside from this wonderful rooftop picnic, what did you get up to today?” Garret bit into his pizza as Andrew tilted his head in thought.

“Not much really, after I went home last night I sort of just crashed and then woke up to your ‘hey, come over’ text.” Andrew shrugged, reeling back as Garrett let out a dramatic gasp.

“What! Andrew! You gave me shit for waking up at 3! Which I didn’t even do, by the way, it was like 11. I know, shocking. But you totally gave me crap for it!”

Andrew had to look away to laugh, not wanting to choke on his pizza. When he was finally able to get his bite down he turned to Garrett, “And you literally said we were married, so this is just proof that yeah, we probably are.” It was Andrew’s turn to shrug. 

“Hey, you wanna see what I learned?” Before Andrew had a chance to answer, Garrett was already dusting the crumbs off his hands and pulling the keyboard to himself, “I watched a couple of videos on it and I think I got it down, but don’t be surprised if there are some mistakes.”

“Alright,” Andrew sat up straight as a way to tell Garrett that he had Andrew’s full attention, “Go for it.”

It was rough, and the tempo changed up a bit here and there, but it was good. It was a simple melody, but it was sweet and Andrew was proud of his friend for learning.

When Garrett hit his last note, he bowed his head and let it hang as a moment of dramatics and Andrew clapped when Garrett looked up at him with a smile. 

“What do you think?” 

“I really liked it. It was awesome, Garrett.”

Garrett thought over his next moves for all of one second before he was handing the keyboard to Andrew. Andrew rested it on his lap but looked at Garrett with an inquisitive eyebrow. Garrett returned it, “Your turn. Play me something sweet, Siwicki!”

He said it in a way that made it unclear as to whether he meant sweet as in sick, like cool, or sweet as in a running melody that worked well with romantical sounding songs. He pressed a few keys here and there before he started playing what was going to be his college final before he dropped Piano. He’d always thought that it worked better as a lyrical song, he’d just never been in the right space to write them. 

Until recently,

_ I’ve seen stars and things that are beautiful _

_ But nothing compared to you _

_ I’ve got scars and things you’ve called beautiful _

_ I’m sure it’s nothing to you _

_ But these words of yours I’ve stored for days _

_ Make me wanna live another one _

_ The moments we’ve shared and we made _

_ Baby, just know I’m in it for the long-run _

Garrett hummed when Andrew finished, “That was beautiful. What song is that?”

Andrew flushed and looked away, stuttering out, “Oh, that’s just-it’s not. That’s my old piano final, I came up-uhm, I wrote the lyrics a few days ago. It’s not that good, that’s actually all I have written, and I just-sorry.” 

Andrew hadn’t even noticed that he was twisting the skin of his wrist, an unfortunate thing that tended to happen when he didn’t wear his rubber band until Garrett had grabbed his wrists and separated them from each other. 

“Andrew,” Garrett said calmly, it wasn’t much, but Andrew relaxed slightly, “It was beautiful, and it’s really good. Don’t beat yourself up like that.”

Garrett frowned and Andrew felt like apologizing. He didn’t want to be the reason that Garrett's face looked as sad as it did. Andrew didn’t say anything and didn’t pull his hands away. They just sort of stared at each other for a minute. Garrett examined Andrew’s face to find something in his eyes that he’d never seen before. Before his brain could catch up to his mouth, he asked, “Who is it about?”

Andrew still didn’t move, but his eyes widened enough to give Garrett the sneaking suspicion that the song was about a few days ago. Andrew was down on himself and Garrett was  _ there.  _ Garrett would always be grateful for the days of his life that had Andrew in them.

“Andrew,” Garrett paused, not really sure how to approach the situation. He thought about letting the shorter man’s wrists go, but he figured Andrew would just go right on back to twisting his skin. Garrett decided to be blunt, “Andrew, is that song about- _ for  _ me?”

Andrew forgot how to breathe. He knew that he wanted to thank Garrett for saving his life, he just didn’t think he’d ever get around to it. Honestly, he had just played the first thing that popped into his brain and it just so happened to be what it was. 

“Woah-hey! Andrew, you gotta breathe for me, babe.” Garrett let the name slip, but neither of them noticed amidst their mild panic. Andrew gasped in a short breath and let his head fall, breaking the intense eye-contact he’d been making with Garrett since he’d asked his question. Garrett praised him, pulling him into his chest and tucking Andrew under his chin, “Good job, you’re doing great.” 

“They sat like that for a while and Garrett almost gave up on filming the rest of the video, but Andrew was almost back to his own brain and convinced Garrett that if he didn’t get it done today, it wouldn’t get done at all. 

They wrapped up filming and were lounging on the couch. Andrew was struggling to keep his mind quiet and he was sure that Garrett could tell. The man hadn’t stopped peeking at him from the corner of his eye ever since they climbed off the roof. 

“Hey, you alright?” 

Andrew nodded and Garrett let him lie. Andrew couldn’t tell Garrett that  _ yes the song is about you _ , and  _ when you’re near me the bad thoughts aren’t as bad,  _ and  _ sometimes I’m not living for me, I’m living for you.  _ He couldn’t just drop all of that on his best friend. So, he settled for a quick muttering of, 

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call or text (In the US)
> 
> National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  
> 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
> 
> Crisis Text Line:  
> Text 741741
> 
> Or click here to find a line in your country  
> https://www.therapyroute.com/article/helplines-suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-from-around-the-world


End file.
